A note from Andrew

Two laptops, two lives.

Hi, it’s Andrew. I started FriendFinder in 1996, and I want to start by saying thank you. To our members, and to everyone who remembers the early days: you built this place as much as I did.

These days I have two laptops and two lives. On one I’m rewriting FriendFinder. On the other I’m building free art spaces in Seattle.

I sold the company at 39 and walked away, and for years I regretted it. In 2021 I started buying it back, and I got personally involved in coding it again, to thank you the best way I know how: by building you the best site I can.

When I took back FriendFinder, I cut the interest on its debt in half, from 14% to 7%. The other lenders sued. I won. Later I bought them all out, because lenders and shareholders expect a company to maximize profit. I want it to maximize benefit.

The conversation below explains the rest better than I can: selling the company, losing who I thought I was, and how painting brought me back. Short on time? Start with the two-minute version.

Andrew

Short on time?

2 minutes

The highlights, in my own words: a farm in the Midwest, one of the first online dating sites, selling at 39, learning to paint, and what I do with it now.

The full conversation · 25 minutes

Art Connects Us

I talk with Diana Yao of the Asian Photography Association about selling the company, losing my identity, the dark years, and how art brought me back. Jump to a moment:

  1. 1:05 A farm in the Midwest, steelworker parents
  2. 2:10 Starting one of the first online dating sites
  3. 3:38 “I had what I call enough”
  4. 4:02 Selling the company at 39, and “paper or plastic”
  5. 6:05 Learning to paint, one painting a day
  6. 9:52 What success really means
  7. 10:55 Burnout, depression and the dark years
  8. 12:00 Losing my identity: “Why did I sell this company?”
  9. 15:05 How art remade me
  10. 17:46 Why I started the foundation
  11. 20:09 Standing in front of beauty
  12. 23:58 Advice to my younger self

A film by the Asian Photography Association, shared with their kind permission · 25:43

Watch the full original on APA’s YouTube channel →

The other half

Free places for art in Seattle

All run by the Conru Art Foundation. Each has its own hours and events.

Andrew among the paintings at the ArtLove Salon Downtown · free ArtLove Salon A 16,000 square foot living room for Seattle’s art world, on the fifth floor of 110 Union Street. No commission on any artwork sold. artlovesalon.org → The Beautiful Things floor at the Occidental Fine Arts Center Pioneer Square · free Occidental Fine Arts Center A home for realist art: Seattle Prize painting, the Beautiful Things exhibition, life drawing, talks and live music. occidentalfinearts.org → Light art inside the Coliseum during this summer’s show Fifth & Pike · planned to open Nov 27 Winter Lights at the Coliseum Light, projection and interactive art inside Seattle’s 1916 Coliseum, planned for November 27 through February 27. coliseumofart.org → A still from the film Meet the Seattle Prize Artists Fellowship The Seattle Prize A year-long fellowship for painters: a stipend, a studio and a year to just paint. No grants to write. seattleprize.org →
  • Conru Art Foundation The foundation behind all of it: what’s open now and what’s next.
  • PublicDisplay.ART A free arts portal for Seattle: artist portfolios, events and art coverage.
  • Kind Words What reporters, partners and visitors have said about the spaces.
  • We Heart Seattle at the Salon A MyNorthwest column on the We Heart Seattle panel at the ArtLove Salon: people who disagree, in one room, listening.
  • My story, on humanist.com How do you know what you know is true? The longer story, in my own words.

More videos →